I have never looked back since.

At dawn when Keith was born, I made a decision. When I was pregnant with him, I had asked for a sign regarding my life that had seemingly no direction. When Keith was born, I knew that was my sign. My wish granted. So that dawn, I woke up from a dream. It was Footprints. And there was thunder & lighting that dawn. I told myself, “OK, I accept this walk.”

I went on to expand that. I said to myself, “And whatever pain I go through, what lessons I learn — I will go through it (most deeply) so that others don’t have to go through this pain. And I will share my experience and learning to benefit others.” That was the promise that I had made to myself.

The next thing I did after making the promise, I asked for him. And then I breastfed him direct. He was 1 month premature at 2kg. He was ready to be discharged from ICU. I broke the first myth.  Infants with trisomy 21 can do anything. I breastfed Keith directly. Because it will build his oral motor muscles so that he can speak and have a voice.

That was why I had endured breastfeeding round the clock. And every single obstacle that I have had to endure and overcome, and reshape – from within and without, and on top of that, do it with love. And eventually, I learnt that it has to be a journey, a walk which is its own new path at every step, that can only hold, with hope and gentleness.

I have never looked back since.

Lesson: believe what you know to be the right thing to do and just do it no matter what anyone says. And don’t let your fire of love be doused by anything.

Peng-Ean Khoo
March 21, 2020

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