The Happy Heart School

Living lifelong human care, development, education, learning and service for all.

“Not joining us. Too bad.”

I love to discover and hear the authentic blossoming of words from Keith.

When asked to join us for a family lunch today, he asserted confidently, “Not joining us. Too bad.”

For all the times we had set boundaries, this is the one of the sweetest, resounding, reassuring boundaried authenticities of the personal self gifted back to us: too bad.

This is my celebration as a mom of a child speaking and saying, “I have my own mind now, mom and dad. My own choice. Sorry, but I have got to have my personal space, my own words, my unique voice, my differing opinion, and in every way, be me. And actually, I am independent and gaining increasing freedom from needing to seek your every approval. That bit, where I will not follow everything that you ask of me, you gotta deal with it yourselves. That bit, where I will depart even from our previously shared values, you gotta deal with it yourselves. Too bad – that’s the way of truly supporting authentic, independent developmental growth.”

My husband and I found ourselves smiling to ourselves, and continued our family lunch with our daughter. No coercing Keith, who has spoken his choice out loud.

Too bad.

To another new year of precious and delicious authentic growth – Happy New Year!

It’s such an inexplicable joy being a parent, even when rejected.

One can only smile at the simple joys of life!


Peng-Ean Khoo
December 31, 2018

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